Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Tickled feet

why do you tickle my feet?
do you not see, it is callous
from no socks on cold floors
to standing all day in the hot sun with heels
it is varicose legs, with a third eye
it is no smoother than a baby's bum
but it gets me to you,
truth be told.
so ok, i guess you could.
go ahead, just tickle it then.

You were missed.

When i first drowned you
all i could see was your lips
it bubbled the only life you had left
i held you down tighter without regret
then cried for you because you couldnt.
i felt the guilt that ran threw my veins
boiled with thick blood and rage.
i laughed of joy and held you down further
but soon it left me, you left me.
i became all alone.
I missed you that day.

My muse

Your breasts are like bowling balls at war
it scrunches my hand with no space in the crease
it suffocates and my pores are clogged
i need to separate them, but where's my other hand?
Oh there it is...also stuck in between.

When you squashed my eyeballs.

Slippery eyes, dripping in red
painful and tender, was crushed like jam
lifeless i stood, awaiting my faith
but darkness prevailed, hypnotized, i cramped.
Piercing like stabbed wounds, i stab you
i stab me, we dripped again in red
i was just lost, i had no eyes
but i got you, i did, my friend
So turn around and reach for my hand
and go ahead cry to sleep
eat my salmon on the table
but i can't see anymore, don't worry
i won't make a peep.

...growing pains.

don't stare at me, with your impulsive brain
that scaly skin and scorching face
your breath so bare of bacterial infection
scour those scheming hands.
i'm embarrassed, you shameless wreck
its unbearable to look, the sting of my eyes
made by your own disgrace.
Leave, run, faster than the speed of light
you are like a leech, sucking on every life.
how incredibly inconsiderate for you to be well
you soundless pervading mold of still.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

...i jus thought...

I just thought i'd post this because i haven't written a post in...lets just say, its been long! But gerhart (btw, thanks) has found some weird stuffs written by me from years back. I thought it was funny and very weird...but then again, I am. So, without further adew, here it is.

"The opposite of happiness"

Sitting in darkness, the dreadful peace of sorrow
And only to hear the depressing melodies that follow
Endlessly playing, causing much distress
Excessively disheartening, misery of loneliness

Sitting in darkness, feeling nothing only deception
Simply realizing that no person carries such perfection
For every character displays misfortunes & mistakes
And the ability to intentionally cause harsh heartbreaks

Sitting in darkness, I sit confused, merely trying to express
Thoughts encircling my mind, never ending, and somehow meaningless
I seek happiness, but my heart is too full of dismay
To no one I speak of this, for only I, myself, am manage to convey

Sitting in darkness, still, helpless, all emotionally
But my time alone is needed, for aloneness grants me tranquility
I do struggle between my heart and mind, which is two of such contradiction
But someday, somehow, answers I’ll find, regarding my life, and its depiction.

"NEXT to nothing"

I embrace life, but only finding my soul to be empty
I praise the Lord, he who provides faith, no less, but plenty
I take a glimpse of my surroundings, the earth and skies, upon it I gaze
Only to realize what it has become, leaving me confused and dazed

I close my eyes, feeling the harsh wind on my bare skin
I cry for salvation, stumbling beyond life & death, and for all my sins
I pray for strength, to aid and nurture my beloved wounds
But they say only time will tell, and only time can heal…*Sigh* hopefully that’s soon.

"Invitation to happiness" (incomplete)

All these months, I’ve searched high and low
Looking for you, the perfect fellow...

Do not say hate
Do not be cruel
Do not swear so much
jus to new a few

Do not invite evil
Do not invite death
Do not allow killing
Do not put someone to rest

Do not lie at all
Do not steal and cheat
Do not act on violence
Do not feel incomplete

However, do love
And do be kind
be loved, feel loved
despite it being blind

Do say I love you
be sacred thru soul
every now and so often
fill in that lonely hole

smile and be free
care less of all things
invite happiness at all cost
and good change it'll bring.

weird...yes...i know.

Friday, March 6, 2009

the randomness of a plain peanut gone astray.

who says that a criminal has to be convicted to be one? what if the world judged too much before realizing to be too judgmental? how can you change one person to be better when you're changing the person who intrigued you in the first place? what makes a difference whether your true colors are hidden or told to your face? why do people feel that when good things fall apart, nothing better lies ahead? if everything happens for a reason, then how is it that we don't have an answer for everything? why are we afraid to take a step forward when it only brings bigger success?

i often drown myself with question after question, but never could finalize a solution to one of them. its ironic of how blank my mind gets when i'm afloat. the mind is suppose to be up and running, a motor of some sort awaiting to use up its cognitive skills. but my mind is faint and becoming less thoughtful. it simply prevents me from opening my mouth to utter a single word. i feel like there's all these chemical imbalances in my brain, just being diluted with supplements of antisocializism. why can't i find that inner balance anymore? or that inner peace, per se.

the more i cry for water, the less successful i've become. i wonder, if i just raise that glass, would i be able to swallow? its harder than i can imagine it, leaving the challenge exhausting. hm.