Tickled feet

why do you tickle my feet?

do you not see, it is callous

from no socks on cold floors

to standing all day in the hot sun with heels

it is varicose legs, with a third eye

it is no smoother than a baby's bum

but it gets me to you,

truth be told.

so ok, i guess you could.

go ahead, just tickle it then.

You were missed.

When i first drowned you

all i could see was your lips

it bubbled the only life you had left

i held you down tighter without regret

then cried for you because you couldnt.

i felt the guilt that ran threw my veins

boiled with thick blood and rage.

i laughed of joy and held you down further

but soon it left me, you left me.

i became all alone.

I missed you that day.

My muse

Your breasts are like bowling balls at war

it scrunches my hand with no space in the crease

it suffocates and my pores are clogged

i need to separate them, but where's my other hand?

Oh there it is...also stuck in between.

When you squashed my eyeballs.

Slippery eyes, dripping in red

painful and tender, was crushed like jam

lifeless i stood, awaiting my faith

but darkness prevailed, hypnotized, i cramped.

Piercing like stabbed wounds, i stab you

i stab me, we dripped again in red

i was just lost, i had no eyes

but i got you, i did, my friend

So turn around and reach for my hand

and go ahead cry to sleep

eat my salmon on the table

but i can't see anymore, don't worry

i won't make a peep.

...growing pains.

don't stare at me, with your impulsive brain

that scaly skin and scorching face

your breath so bare of bacterial infection

scour those scheming hands.

i'm embarrassed, you shameless wreck

its unbearable to look, the sting of my eyes

made by your own disgrace.

Leave, run, faster than the speed of light

you are like a leech, sucking on every life.

how incredibly inconsiderate for you to be well

you soundless pervading mold of still.

...i jus thought...

I just thought i'd post this because i haven't written a post in...lets just say, its been long! But gerhart (btw, thanks) has found some weird stuffs written by me from years back. I thought it was funny and very weird...but then again, I am. So, without further adew, here it is.

"The opposite of happiness"

Sitting in darkness, the dreadful peace of sorrow

And only to hear the depressing melodies that follow

Endlessly playing, causing much distress

Excessively disheartening, misery of loneliness

Sitting in darkness, feeling nothing only deception

Simply realizing that no person carries such perfection

For every character displays misfortunes & mistakes

And the ability to intentionally cause harsh heartbreaks

Sitting in darkness, I sit confused, merely trying to express

Thoughts encircling my mind, never ending, and somehow meaningless

I seek happiness, but my heart is too full of dismay

To no one I speak of this, for only I, myself, am manage to convey

Sitting in darkness, still, helpless, all emotionally

But my time alone is needed, for aloneness grants me tranquility

I do struggle between my heart and mind, which is two of such contradiction

But someday, somehow, answers I’ll find, regarding my life, and its depiction.

"NEXT to nothing"

I embrace life, but only finding my soul to be empty

I praise the Lord, he who provides faith, no less, but plenty

I take a glimpse of my surroundings, the earth and skies, upon it I gaze

Only to realize what it has become, leaving me confused and dazed

I close my eyes, feeling the harsh wind on my bare skin

I cry for salvation, stumbling beyond life & death, and for all my sins

I pray for strength, to aid and nurture my beloved wounds

But they say only time will tell, and only time can heal…*Sigh* hopefully that’s soon.

"Invitation to happiness" (incomplete)

All these months, I’ve searched high and low

Looking for you, the perfect fellow...

Do not say hate

Do not be cruel

Do not swear so much

jus to new a few

Do not invite evil

Do not invite death

Do not allow killing

Do not put someone to rest

Do not lie at all

Do not steal and cheat

Do not act on violence

Do not feel incomplete

However, do love

And do be kind

be loved, feel loved

despite it being blind

Do say I love you

be sacred thru soul

every now and so often

fill in that lonely hole

smile and be free

care less of all things

invite happiness at all cost

and good change it'll bring.

p.s.

weird...yes...i know.

the randomness of a plain peanut gone astray.

who says that a criminal has to be convicted to be one? what if the world judged too much before realizing to be too judgmental? how can you change one person to be better when you're changing the person who intrigued you in the first place? what makes a difference whether your true colors are hidden or told to your face? why do people feel that when good things fall apart, nothing better lies ahead? if everything happens for a reason, then how is it that we don't have an answer for everything? why are we afraid to take a step forward when it only brings bigger success?

i often drown myself with question after question, but never could finalize a solution to one of them. its ironic of how blank my mind gets when i'm afloat. the mind is suppose to be up and running, a motor of some sort awaiting to use up its cognitive skills. but my mind is faint and becoming less thoughtful. it simply prevents me from opening my mouth to utter a single word. i feel like there's all these chemical imbalances in my brain, just being diluted with supplements of antisocializism. why can't i find that inner balance anymore? or that inner peace, per se.

the more i cry for water, the less successful i've become. i wonder, if i just raise that glass, would i be able to swallow? its harder than i can imagine it, leaving the challenge exhausting. hm.