the randomness of a plain peanut gone astray.

who says that a criminal has to be convicted to be one? what if the world judged too much before realizing to be too judgmental? how can you change one person to be better when you're changing the person who intrigued you in the first place? what makes a difference whether your true colors are hidden or told to your face? why do people feel that when good things fall apart, nothing better lies ahead? if everything happens for a reason, then how is it that we don't have an answer for everything? why are we afraid to take a step forward when it only brings bigger success?

i often drown myself with question after question, but never could finalize a solution to one of them. its ironic of how blank my mind gets when i'm afloat. the mind is suppose to be up and running, a motor of some sort awaiting to use up its cognitive skills. but my mind is faint and becoming less thoughtful. it simply prevents me from opening my mouth to utter a single word. i feel like there's all these chemical imbalances in my brain, just being diluted with supplements of antisocializism. why can't i find that inner balance anymore? or that inner peace, per se.

the more i cry for water, the less successful i've become. i wonder, if i just raise that glass, would i be able to swallow? its harder than i can imagine it, leaving the challenge exhausting. hm.